i bought a terrible DVD...!

i watched one of the daftest films i've ever seen yesterday evening; I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle was released in 1990, put together on a shoestring budget and lots of friend and family goodwill and probably one of the funniest things i've sat down and watched for a while. Starring Neil Morrissey, then already well known as the slightly gormless sidekick Rocky in Central's Boon but well before he started hanging around with Martin Clunes or indeed voicing one Robert the Construction Worker, this is essentially "Boon does comedy horror" since a large number of cast and crew were "borrowed" from the hit ITV show! Although Morrissey gets the lead role here as Nick Oddie (or Noddy to his mates), both Michael Elphick and David Daker appear as coppers and other members of the cast and crew are present throughout including the late Tip Tipping performing some of the more adventurous stunts.

Even more surprising were some of the other cast who weren't directly involved with Boon (or appeared for an episode) who were persuaded to appear; Burt Kwouk makes a short, silent cameo as the somewhat menacing owner of the chinese takeaway, Daniel Peacock, who regularly appeared in the Comic Strip productions and the television version of Whoops Apocalypse appears as Buzzer, the first victim of the titular creature but the biggie has to be Anthony "C3PO" Daniels playing the priest that Noddy rather desperately finds on finally working out that his bike is a killer. There's loads of wonderfully cringeworthy one-liners, quite a bit of blood, guts and bodily fluids (seriously, this is one film that doesn't sit well with popcorn!) and a fair few cheap but very cheerful sight gags such as Noddy ordering a pint of cider and a crossbow bolt, fired by the leader of a motorcycle gang, thudding into the bar next to his hand. The vampire bike (a Norton Commando, apparently... and still buried in the producer's shed as one of the extras demonstrates) goes from being quite menacing to highly amusing as the special effects budget doesn't quite manage to make it seem realistic, the cast really go for it as do the extras who are mostly friends and family of the film makers (or the writers, producer and whoever else was available in some cases) and it's topped off with a silly soundtrack. In short, worth a couple of quid on DVD!